Many people are proud of their ability to multitask. They feel that they can get so much done in a short amount of time, if they multitask. They could be more productive, more energetic and feel more lively if they multitask, however when they compare their past work with current work, they find that the reality is different.
I also used to boast about my ability to
multi-task, proud that I could get so much done simultaneously.
Performing numerous activities at one time seemed to energize me and
keep me more aware. I just didn’t know what I was missing and it never
struck me that the anxiety and depression I struggled with had anything
to do with the way I was living my life.
One of my favorite quotes by Jon Kabat-Zinn is “We are human be-ings, not human do-ings.” At that point in my life I was living like a human do-ing.
Now, as I drive and talk business on the
phone, or when some other tasks converge at the same time, I notice an
almost imperceptible disturbance. It’s a very subtle awareness of how I
am not present in all that I am doing, and I don’t like it. I have felt I
can feel this disturbance in my brain, although I thought I was imaging
these sensations until I read this quote by neuroscientist Sara Lazar
in the article Harvard neuroscientist: Meditation not only reduces stress, here’s how it changes your brain:
“We found long-term meditators have an
increased amount of gray matter in the insula and sensory regions, the
auditory and sensory cortex. Which makes sense. When you’re mindful
you’re paying attention to your breathing, to sounds, to the present
moment experience, and shutting cognition down. It stands to reason your
senses would be enhanced.”
I believe that the disturbance I describe
above is actually recognition of my senses being overwhelmed as well as a
diminished quality of my experience. So, while there are still times
when I multi-task to some extent it is rarely to the Olympian standards
it used to be and when anxiety or depression creep into my life I take
time to sit with these states of being, which then quickly pass, instead
of becoming larger than life, swallowing me up.
No comments:
Post a Comment